than putting yourself back
together every morning."
Save this one for a night when all you want is for your brain to let you rest. Too often I go to bed, my body exhausted, my mind unable to stop moving. Luckily, there’s this masterful version of “Once Upon a December” from the (highly underrated) animated movie Anastasia. It’s a perfect piece to guide you to a peaceful slumber, because this music? It’s the stuff of dreams.
I remember this day as clear as one could possibly reflect on a memory. I was playing sims 3 all afternoon… around 5:15pm, my mom came home and told me my Grandma was very sick. I told her I know but she’s going to be okay, as my mom than became sad in her eyes, she told me “No Danielle, she’s very sick.” as I started to cry, I got up and got ready to go see my Grandma in the Hospital. Around 6:30/7pm we left after spending sometime holding her hand. I refused to be home so I went to go get Wendys. As I sat at my friends kitchen counter eating, my phone rang. It was my mother and she told me I had to come back to the hospital. I began repeating “No. We were just with her, no.” I hung up the phone and cried my eyes out into my dear friends arm… When I got to the hospital I asked my friend if it was a bad idea to bring Wendys in… Of course I’d be thinking about my food at that minute trying so hard not to come in realization of whats going on. As I threw my food out, I ran to the elevator up to my grandmothers room. I saw my mom in tears, I began to cry. As I sit and hold my Grandma’s hand it hit me, it hit me that she is not longer here on this earth with me, better yet, she was now with her beloved husband and mother in heaven. When I left the hospital I cried but never in front of anyone. As the days went by I stayed strong for everyone around me but at night I would cry my eyes out to the point when I woke up my mother in the middle of the night…. They say those who past will always be with you, its true… Its really true, but not having my Grandmother here kills me more inside each and every day. I hate the fact I cannot call her to ask how many 2/3 cups I need for a recipe… I hate the fact I cannot hear her laugh or see her smile no longer. I hate the fact my best friend, the best grandmother I will ever know is no longer a phone call away…. As today marks exactly a year since she has past, I will try my hardest not to cry. I will remember the good times I had shared with her and the time she grounded me for not matching my socks… I hope you’re having the time of your life with your husband, mother and now sister in heaven G. I love you and I miss you dearly each and every single day. It’s not goodbye, it’s I’ll see you later… I’ll visit you in three days on your birthday, I’ll bring a payday with me… forever <3